about us
(not financial advice)
We're basically degenerates who learned to write.
And you're reading this. LOL.
absolutely real statistics
☕
99%
Coffee Powered
🌙
420
Articles Written at 3am
😎
69
Nice
🚀
∞
"To the Moon"
🏎️
0
Lambos (so far)
📚
100%
DYOR
the "team"
CEO: Some guy who bought BTC in 2021 (at ATH, of course)
CTO: Stack Overflow + ChatGPT
Designer: Figma Community Templates
Writers: Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V enthusiasts
our achievements
Never rugpulled (yet)
Domain name sounds legit
SSL certificate exists
We have a footer (premium stuff)
Only 3 typos per article (average)
Remember to breathe while reading
what we do
Aggregate news from the internet
→ Actually: Copy from Twitter
Add engaging headlines
→ Actually: Make everything sound dramatic
Provide market insights
→ Actually: Look at charts and guess
Keep you informed 24/7
→ Actually: Post when we remember to
contact
Twitter: @cryptoflow (DM us, we'll probably see it)
Email: info@cryptoflow.com (goes to spam, probably)
Telegram: @cryptoflownews (maybe active)
disclaimer
• Not financial advice.
• Not life advice.
• Probably not even good advice.
• DYOR. Seriously.
• We're just vibing here.
If you lost money after reading our site, that's on you, buddy. We told you to do your own research.
Still here? Impressive.
Now go back to checking your portfolio every 5 minutes.